if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
