Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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