and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
COCAINE IS GR8
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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