Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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