I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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