You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You made out with two different species that night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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