Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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