he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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