Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
