I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
