I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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