did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
