All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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