Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize