Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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