just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
