i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize