I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
