I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
