What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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