i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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