Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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