This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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