she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
