do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
send nudes
from the living room?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
