What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
