Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I need water and some morals
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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