pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
