How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
