So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
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I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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