in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
