You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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