I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
