i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
