HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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