He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I didn't notice because vodka
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
