so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
