to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
