Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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