I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
