I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
