i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
