'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
