We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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