so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
