she looked like the before picture.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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