omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
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Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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