Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize