i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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