On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
