So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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