So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
