Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
