office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
