Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
