apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
