just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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