Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
