I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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