I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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