WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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