Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
